IBM Christmas Carol Competition

Something to sing around our log fires this Christmas as we look forward to the BIG layoffs in 2019!

Away in a condo on a six foot wide bed

A deluded old Ginni lay down her sweet head

The stock price was falling, many clients were fu**ked,

But she gave not a sh*t as her millions piled up.

The staff are all moaning but no crying she makes

Spins her next big idea, like the rest, flawed and fake

Sells-off the company assets, lots of RAs to make,

Soon she'll leave with her millions, massive mess in her wake.

We love you dear Ginni, cry the fawning last few,

But they know in their hearts they'll soon be in deep p--paragraph}}}Don't worry, new millenials will help steer the ship

Know f**k-all about IT but experts in bull-sh--.

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Have yourself a merry IBM breakdown,

Let your heart implode

From now on,

your troubles will be well ignored

Have yourself a merry IBM breakdown,

That will make your Yule-tide weigh,

From now on,

your troubles will be many-fold

Here we were in old Watson’s days,

happy golden days of yore.

Faithful colleagues who are dear to us

gather near to us once more.

Through the years we’ve witnessed many things together

If the Fates allow

Hang the age-based lawsuit upon the highest Bar.

And have yourself a merry IBM breakdown now.

It's beginning to look a lot like RAs

Everywhere you go;

Take a look at Executive portfolios, glistening once again

With stock buybacks and software selloffs aglow.

It's beginning to look a lot like RAs,

Carnage at the core,

But the prettiest sight to see is the misery that will be

Upon your own front door.

(from Here comes Santa Claus)

Here comes Ginni Claus!

Right down Orchard Lane!

Gherson and Browdy and all her Minons

are pulling on the reins.

RAs disbursing with families just clinging;

All is merry and bright.

Please buy our stock and hedge your positions,

'Cause Ginni Claus comes tonight.

Here comes Ginni Claus!

Right down Orchard Lane!

She's got a bag that’s filled with Imperatives

for her Customers and Partners again.

Hear those Option bells jingle jangle,

What a beautiful sight.

Jump in bed, cover up your head,

'Cause Ginni Claus comes tonight.

No time for the full song, love, but here’s a writing prompt if someone wants to take over:

Ginni the Red Hat buyer,

Brought the comp’ny to its knees,

...

(Back to the bottle now)

any loser who still supports her is going to hell for sure

LOL +1

Thread regarding IBM layoffs

IBM Christmas Carol Competition

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