Marvin,
Sometimes as a CEO you make hard decisions for the best benefit of the employees (STOCKHOLDERS). These decisions are not made lightly (HASTILY YES) , or without great forethought (GIANT AXE MORE LIKELY).
Therefore, after lengthy deliberations, the employees have decided that for the good of all (SHAREHOLDERS), we are terminating your relationship with our company.
While we understand that the sudden nature of your dismissal will be disruptive to you personally, we have made provisions for you to work at a nearby chain selling similar products (SEARS).
You will, of course, need to interview for the position and take a pay cut. You will lose your house in Charlotte, the use of the corporate jet, all speaking engagements (WHERE YOU DENIGRATE YOUR OWN COMPANY AND GET PAID FOR IT), all your stock options, and the respect of those you (CLAIM TO) serve. (ACTUALLY ALREADY GONE ON THE LAST ONE).
We know it’s only been six months, but you got to git. Home Depot won’t take you, Target knows better, jc penny’s said you can’t come back because you are clueless. Good news though, we want Joe to go with you. Friday will be you last day. Sorry we can’t be there to see you off, but we will be planning the huge corporate party to celebrate your ABSENCE!!
We invited the stockholders to our party and the RSVP’d in the affirmative.