The International Paper Association has recognized UoP for their work in the Restroom Segment of the Paper Industry.
Phoenix has produced paper that is durable yet surprisingly sensitive
to those with hemorrhoids or anal warts. The paper is currently only available to those that are stupid enough to attend the diploma mill to "earn a piece of ass wipe"
John Sperling founder of UoP was seen with tears in his eyes. It was later determined that it was not because of the award but the stench from Jared's stall