After over 20 years of being loyal to this — barely recognizable firm — the writing is on the wall for me. My leader couldn’t make it any more obvious he is trying to make me quit. I’ve given this firm so much of myself. There were times when I was a salaried pay grade 6 and was “as part of my leadership development”, leading over 10 CW members, while also having a bunch of other cr-p the leaders didn’t want to do (disguised as development), while also essentially handcuffed to my phone taking back-to-back calls for 8 hours a day. Oh, and did I mention also studying for my 7 and 66 off the clock? I was so burnt out; but I pushed through those long (often close to 60 hrs a week) because I never imagined this firm would be in this state of complete and utter disrepair. I wanted to be a lifer, wanted to retire here. I gave this firm my sanity for more years than I’d like to admit. Taken time away from my wife and kids to keep chasing the dream for what should never have even been allowed pay. I hustled. Have had horrible leaders who couldn’t care less about my development. My family. My well-being. But still, I stayed. And mostly as the years went on, I stayed because I had finally made it to the goal pay grade. Was full-time HBA and with 4 kids, that flexibility had been invaluable.
Now? Well, now I think I cost too much money to keep on payroll. I should mention I’m absolutely kicking myself for finding another role here when I was “reimagined” in Aug. I panicked. The job market is trash. After over 2 decades here, I was devastated, honestly . I’m the bread winner. I knew almost immediately after starting this new role I had made a grave mistake in not following my gut feeling of what an absolute nightmare this new micromanager of a TL would be. And she’s worse than I could have ever imagined. I don’t work on a team. I’m an individual contributor and my “performance” is based on her opinion alone. I’ve already been put on a PIP and now a written warning. I’ve been told she, along with AR, have been “investigating” my computer activity and any periods of more than 5 mins “idle time”. I’ve been an HBA FOR OVER 15 YEARS AND HAVE NEVER ONCE had my integrity questioned. Felt like the associate from AR was interrogating me, as I was completely blindsided by the whole thing. Essentially I was told that my activity on the system should at minimum be 8 hours/day. I called several things into question and was denied access to these activity reports in order to try to prove their allegations wrong. I’m now being required to essentially log every hour of work a day for 8 hours. I’m absolutely certain they’re going to terminate me. I’ve never met two more cold-hearted people at this firm and have no intention of staying here any longer than I have to.
I’m sick with anxiety every day. I’ve lost over 15 lbs since in 5 weeks since I was out on a PIP. Worst decision of my life was not taking that BS severance package when it as offered and telling this place to F right the F off and never look back.
Now to my questions:
1) Due to my blind stupid loyalty to this firm, and being HBA, I have banked almost 300 hours on sick time. I know regardless of how employment is ended her that the sick time is never paid off. You just lose it. I have over 30 something days of pay I could’ve used as time off and didn’t. Should I just start burning those days?? I’ve earned them. Could they potentially penalize me for using too many?
2) With almost 20 years here, WHEN they finally terminate me (which will be completely made up or highly exaggerated “performance” issues), will they offer me severance? I’ve been told by several friends that don’t work here that it’s likely they would due to my tenure, the inside knowledge I’ve acquired over all the years and to prevent any chance of a lawsuit (make me sign an NDA or something)
Thanks! This page has been my only source of sanity to see I’m not the only one being completely sc--wed. After the latest round of GPs took off for India last week, I know it’s just a matter of time for so many of us. ELT has burned this once beloved company to the ground while padding their pockets and ruining the lives of associates and their families.